First Beer of the Mourning

by My Body is an Ashtray

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    Single sleeve compact disc with additional art by Zach Zdzeibko and text by Ryan Pyott. Layout by MBIAA.

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  • Cassette + Digital Album

    Run of 50 very limited edition tour cassettes loaded with extra B Sides like acoustic takes and covers and unreleased songs. Dubbed, packaged, and numbered by hand.

    Sweatband Records Release SWEAT037

    Includes unlimited streaming of First Beer of the Mourning via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ships out within 10 days
    edition of 50 

      $7 USD or more 




released July 1, 2016

Recorded by Max Winston and Zach Zdziebko. Mixed by Louis Conway. Cover photo by James Parks. Text design by Ryan Pyott.



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My Body is an Ashtray Los Angeles, California

Manics with borderline alcoholism

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Track Name: Anthem
Feeling drunk
Throat is sore
Swore I wouldn't do this anymore
Moving on
But I'm not
I'm still just stuck here in this spot
Track Name: Dreams
Stabbing your back and then breaking your heart
Forgetting completely who you are
Wrecking your whole day just when it starts

Don't ever believe what you see
Don't trust what I do in dreams

I won't trust what I do in your dreams in my dreams
Track Name: Funeral Dirge
I am not fit to be called human
This is my funeral dirge

There should be a subspecies for shit like us
You shouldn't try to help me cause I will only pull you down
One day I'll figure it out
Until then will you think of me

I can feel it eating away day to day
I don't think that I'll ever be ok
I know it's fucked but face it my dear
Track Name: Human Race
Sleep deprived my blood shot eyes
I'm just trying to keep it together
Maybe it'll all work out for the better
Gotta get myself out of this rut
Before things get even more fucked
Can't burn out if I don't go fast enough

When your close to death and you feel so alive
But every day brings you closer to your demise

So I break myt fall with my face
I numb my pain with my disgrace
We're all in this on our own
There's a reason they call it the human race

And I feel your pain
And I hope you can feel mine too
I don't know if you can tell
But I'm trying not to cry

And I feel for you
And I hope you can love me still
I don't know what I would do
Without you by my side

I'd probably die
Track Name: Poco Apocalypse
The super glue that holds between the seams
Yesterday it was melted from a chemical release
And the weight of the world seemed to great for the faulty architecture
So the Masonic bricks started crumbling
And the upper class began stumbling
And the drunks, yes, we will continue mumbling
That the worst has yet to come

And I'll tip my hat to the men in the suits and the ties
For wearing a noose and burial clothes each day
And I'll raise my glass to the bums on the corner
For lying to me, I know you wont eat, but here's my last buck anyway
Here's to the shit, here's to the luck
Here's to the fortunate, here's to the fucked
Here's to my friends, so weird and so few
When the shit gets clogged in the fan I'll be thinking of you
That the best has yet to come

When popping pills and drinking excessively
Intensifies your lack of reality
I'll go sober tomorrow if I can just stop waking up today

I need a god to find or at least a drug with no decline
Track Name: Nail Biter
Bleeding fingertips that can't remember your soft skin in mid December
Of the things I can recall your cheating face says it all
Tattered nails and broken spirits are crying for help but no one can hear it
When they bury me alive there'll be no claw marks on the inside

I did not sign my name to sit in confusion wasting away
But turn a blind eye if it comforts your soul
Your empathy sends me to heavens gallows

Cause I am just a nail bitter waiting for my time to expire
When it comes down to the wire I'll throw my hands up

The blame is entirely yours so why am I taking this out on myself
The blame is completely yours so why am I suffocating myself
Track Name: No Angels
Twisting concrete, smoggy signs I can't make out these blurry lines
Stuck in traffic, 405, I hate this city but it is mine
So much to do and so much to see
I know the names on every marquee
So much of me is in this city
I have to go but I cannot leave

Grime and crime and lack of trees
It never rains and it's always 100 degrees
Walk alone I can barely breath
There are no angels obviously

The water's bad, if there's any outside of the smell it's cool to drink
My will to wake is always bending as the city continues to sink
No one to do and no one to see
I guess I'll just stay home be lonely
So much of me is in this city
I have to go but I cannot leave

Homeless shitting in the streets
Gates of gold right next to chainlink
Murder as likely to come from police
There are no angels obviously
Track Name: Depression
Sometimes when I wake up in the morning I'm ready to take on the day
But most days when I wake up in the morning
I want to lay in bed and be a piece of shit
What's wrong with drinking at 9 am if you ain't got nothing to do
And what's wrong with smoking a little bit of pot
if that's what make you you

Sometimes when I'm driving to work I want to smash my car into a wall
And most times when my bosses are giving me shit
I just want to kill them all
What's wrong with having suicidal thoughts
when you know your just to chicken shit to carry it out
And what's wrong with writing shitty songs
I just want to scream and shout
Track Name: Your Body is a Temple
You say that your body's a temple, well your treating it more like a tomb
You cover yourself with such beautiful things
Still you can't get away from the gloom
Treasures you'd always imagined bringing more joy to your life
All of these things that you never deserved
Still you can't hide the scars from a knife

Me, well, my body's an ashtray
It's covered with embers and burns
You say it gets better but people like us never learn

As you stare up at the billions of stars and pray for some kind of escape I cast my gaze to the dirt on the floor and I worship my empty beer and full ashtray

You say that your body's a temple
And honestly that might be true
But it never gets better cause people like us love the gloom
Track Name: Wet Cigarettes
Your love, my regrets, as useless to me, as wet cigarettes

Fuck this world and its promises
This shit always happens to me
I don't get what the problem is
Why can't you just let me be
All I want is some confidence
Or simply a place to retreat
So fuck you and all of your promises
But maybe the problem is me

Contentment, discomfort, I don't know what's worse
Track Name: Damien
Drunk as fuck and feeling fine, I'll drink your beer I'll drink your wine
I'll drink your words, I'll wretch up mine, It's getting better all the time
Ordinary occurrence, a bloody nose I deserve this
Words of hope hard to digest, it's getting better all the time

Believe me when I say
That I did it all for you, fill emptiness with cigarette tattoos
Your on the edge and I'm jumping off the roof
Remember when I say it's all for you

Makeshift mind for monthly rent I found my own incompetent
Fuck it all and no regrets, it's getting better all the time
I fill my glass with libation, livercide for recreation
Cigarette burn constellations, it's getting better all the time
Track Name: Porcelain
Stains become clear on the silk white porcelain
That shatters on the floor like the tears of an orphan
Who could have been spared the pain if he had just been aborted
Whose to say if he's blessed or unfortunate
He's alive

Now I sympathize with the mess on the bathroom floor
Swallowed my dignity but can't hold down my lunch no more
Alcohol constantly spewing out of all my pores
Starting to wonder what the fuck I am doing this for
My demise

Clean white porcelain the stains are so clear
There are some thing that you don't have to hear my love.
There's a darkness we all must fear just know I am here